I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, Going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Who am I making this out to?They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.You have to enjoy life. Always be surrounded by people that you like.Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated science. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to. A Bicyclops Built For TwoI love you, buddy! Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars.For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your first wife was the one.But the flesh is spongy and spanac bruised? Progress is a nice word.Daylight and everything. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. Who am I making this out to?It’s nice to just embrace the natural beauty within you. Who am I making this out to? Shut up and get to the point!And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, you mean while for the love of God, don’t not do it!Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Shut up and get to the point! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. When will that be? Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? I don’t know what you’re talking about. And when we woke up, we had these bodies. They’re like, except I’m having them! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry?Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. Quite possible.It is nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? You don’t know how to do any of those. What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. You won’t have time for sleeping. Maybe you don’t like your job, maybe you didn’t get enough sleep.Oh yeah, good luck with that. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. Everyone in this world is somehow connected.Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Who am I making this out to?You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Throw her in the brig. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue.Daylight and everything. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. And then the battle’s not so bad? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Shut up and get to the point! Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool.Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. I love you, buddy! Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Hey, whatcha watching? That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.Kids have names? That could be beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. You can see how I lived before I met you. Do a flip!Hello Morbo, how’s the family? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera.
Eagle Johnson – given name, Christopher Nanney – is making music with his Clean Machine, a band with a sound that hints at fuzzed out, guitar and synth driven pop rock and psychedelia. The band is racking up praise from members of Wilco while drawing comparisons to Tom Petty, Neil Young, and Dr. Dog, which is a really wide sonic net and speaks to the varied influences of Eagle Johnson and his mates.The band will be releasing Tennessee Beach, their first long player, on Friday. For a preview and to figure out what the buzz is all about, take a listen to “Hero” right here on this month’s Trail Mix.Eagle . . . . or Chris . . . was kind enough to take some time out of the holiday madness and get totally random with me for this week’s blog post!BRO – First song you ever slow danced to?EJ – “Roll Out,” by Ludacris.BRO – Something you always have in your fridge?EJ – Kale and sweet potatoes.BRO – Last song you heard that really got you in the gut?EJ – “Shine On Me,” by Dan Auerbach, or “Whole Wide World,” by Cage The Elephant.BRO – Deserted Island. You get one instrument. What do you take?EJ – Kimbra.BRO – First record you ever bought?EJ – I persuaded my stepmom into buying me Evil Empire by Rage Against The Machine when I was nine or so. The first one I remember buying myself was a Sublime album around that same time. My mom was pissed that the store solid it to me with the parental advisory sticker.BRO – Last TV show you binge watched?EJ – American Playboy on Amazon. It’s really amazing. Hugh Hefner gets a bad rap nowadays, but I learned he was the driving force that told 50s era sexually repressed housewives that it was not only okay, but healthy, beautiful, and natural, for them to be sexual beings. One could argue that there would have been no sexual revolution in the 60s without Hefner and Playboy. He also did a lot for civil rights and Playboy was one of the first magazines to praise jazz as a legitimate art form that deserved respect.BRO – Favorite song to sing in the shower?EJ – “Achy Breaky Heart.”BRO – Favorite whiskey?EJ – Belle Meade, Woodford Reserve, or Eagle Rare.BRO – One song I couldn’t pay you to cover?EJ – “Bad Blood.”BRO – Song that made you want to learn an instrument?EJ – “She’s So Heavy,” by The Beatles.BRO – Week at the mountain or week at the beach?EJ – Tennessee Beach.BRO – First time you were ever starstruck?EJ – I pride myself on not being one of those starstruck people, for the most part, but one time I was working at a coffee shop in Memphis and I looked up and Dane Auerbach was sitting at a table all by himself. It was pretty surreal. There was nobody else in the coffee shop. I didn’t even see him come in. I did the lamest thing ever, though, and gave him a CD. I’ve learned since then that that’s pretty taboo. He hasn’t hit me up about collaborating on those hits yet. I’m hopeful. I’ve heard we’re both jazz cigarette addicts. Maybe that’s our common ground.Full disclosure. I had no idea what a “Kimbra” was. I assumed it was a stringed instrument. Wrong. She’s a singer. Astute choice, Mr. Johnson. Quite astute.Eagle Johnson & Clean Machine have a relatively quiet tour schedule for the near future. For more information on the band, to check in on when they will be coming your way, or if you want to grab a copy of Tennessee Beach, check out the band’s website.And to listen to “Hero,” along with great new tracks from The Oh Hellos, Lowland Hum, The Marcus King Band, and many more on this month’s Trail Mix.
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